What do you do that is just for you?

I was listening to a radio show in my car the other day where the host goes out into the streets and asks people questions then helps them take the first steps towards their goals…I’m sure they have a podcast. The question on that particular day was “What is something that you do that is just for yourself?” I thought to myself, …well, I go to…umm, I go for…umm…hum. Ok, so I didn’t realize this was such a difficult question until I really asked myself, and I had a long drive to actually think about it.

What do I do for myself that is purely for me that I enjoy and get recharged by? I have passes for a yoga studio that I really like, but I don’t go very often and when I do it feels rushed and inconvenient. There is a garden center not to far from my home that I love walking through and feel relaxed when I’m there, but again, it’s not a regular thing that I get to do. Oh, I know! I binge watch The Good Wife on Netflix when my kids go to bed, I love that show.

But other than getting to zone out and procrastinate doing laundry, I’m not sure I get much wellness out of that. Maybe I’m just too busy to stop and do something for myself. I’m too busy working and being a mom and cleaning and grocery shopping and scheduling appointments for everyone. When I’m not physically doing these things I’m busy thinking about these things, constantly organizing and planning in my mind.

I have made all of these things such a priority that I think I feel guilty taking time away from doing them and have basically talked myself out of doing something that is just for myself. Though I know this is not sustainable or even healthy I am stuck in this routine and adding one more thing, even if it’s for me, just seems overwhelming! So what do I do to recharge? There has to be something,…I’ll have to chat about this with my friends at our girl’s night next week.

My Aha Moment

What a minute! I guess that’s it, of course is it. Every week myself and my 3 closest friends get together in the evening at someone’s house for a few hours and talk, eat and drink wine. We vent, solve each others problems, gossip, brag about our kids but most of all just be ourselves and relax. I should tell you that I have known these ladies since as early as kindergarten and high school, and we have been getting together almost every week for years.

This is the thing I do that is just for me. It is a priority for me and my family understands that. It is considered when my husband and I are planning out the week and my kids know what “mom has girl’s night” means. I have come to depend on this night to clear my head and take a breath. I can feel tension and stress start to build in my body if a few weeks have passed without seeing my friends. We do our best to work around each other’s schedule, but our rule is that if 3 of us can make it then girl’s night is on!

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Take a moment and ask yourself these questions. Download the printable, sit down with a coffee, or wine, and give yourself a few minutes of uninterrupted time to think about you.

  1. What do you do that is just for you?
  2. How often do you do it?
  3. Have you made it a priority in your regular schedule?
  4. Why do you enjoy it and what do you get out of it?

If these questions are hard for you to answer, like they were for me, then you owe yourself the time to sort this out. We can probably look back over the past month and find something we did that you can say was for yourself. If that is the case it probably wasn’t planned or intentional, but once you did it you felt good and most likely thought to yourself, I should do this more often.

Or maybe you are able to answer those questions easily and have a few self-care things you do regularly. Good for you! If that describes you, I bet there is someone you know that isn’t doing that for themselves and could really benefit from it. Why not spread the wealth? I challenge those of you who have mastered doing something for yourself to support a friend and help them get started. Pass these questions onto them or maybe even invite them to join you!

Rest and relaxation on a girl's weekend
Girl’s weekend

My Next Steps to Wellness

My goal is to start planning wellness time in to my schedule. Just like I make time for girl’s night, I want to make time for yoga and reading. I will look up the schedule at my yoga studio and plan to go to one Restorative Yoga class every 10 days. I will start with Restorative Yoga because I find it to be really relaxing and less demanding then a Flow class. Every 10 days seems more realistic than every week, and I don’t want to commit to something I don’t think I can pull off. I don’t want to give myself any reasons to back out.  I will invite my friend that also has yoga passes to join me, it will be harder to not go if she is meeting me.

I will also stop at a book store and pick up a few of the books on my ‘must read’ list. I will plan to go to bed 30 minutes earlier then I usually do and actually set aside time to read. I will offer to lend the book to a friend as soon as I’m done which will give me incentive to finish it, therefore actually read it!

Ask yourself these questions to help set some new wellness goals:

  1. What is something new you would like to try or something old you want to do more often?
  2. What steps do you need to take to make it a reality?
  3. Give yourself a dead line. When will you start?
  4. Make it achievable. What will help you stick to your plan?
  • Inviting a friend or family member
  • Telling someone your plan will help you stay committed
  • Start off slow. Doing something new once a month is 100% more than you were doing it before!
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Remember that you can only do as well as you feel. It’s a worth while investment to make yourself a priority and plan to fit wellness into your life.

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Ashlyn Bohonos

In order of priority, (preference depends on the day) she is a mom, a wife and an Occupational Therapist. Just like any other working parent, she is busy, tired and overwhelmed but also happy and thankful. She is looking forward to sharing her family’s journey and the success and challenges that go along with that from a personal and professional perspective.

2 Replies to “What do you do that is just for you?”

  1. Very timely, thoughtful article. Young women take on so much of the responsibility they often forget to care for themselves.

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