We can all play a role in boosting self-esteem in the people around us. By building the people up in your life, you will feel better about yourself too. Follow these tips to be a positive influence in the life of all those around you.
Take a few moments to observe your friend when you first see her in the morning. Did she try something new with her hair? Does she look happy? Did something change in her house? By providing a compliment at the beginning of your interaction, this shows that you’re interested in her life and opens up the conversation.
Provide compliments and encouragement when your friend talk about their life. Be positive and encouraging. Saying compliments like “I’m proud of you for trying that” or “Great job getting that done, that’s a huge feat”. This is a good way for your friend to reflect that they did achieve something.
Stay in Touch
Make an effort to keep in touch with your friends through text, email, social media or phone calls. You will figure out what way they prefer.
Make a note in your phone calendar to follow up with your friend when something is going on in their life. This could be a doctor’s appointment, an important meeting, a celebration, etc. This will show that you’re genuinely interested in them.
Balance out the Relationship
A relationship (friends, family, spouse, co-workers, etc) work best when they are balanced. When you’re in a conversation, be aware whether you’re only talking about yourself or if the conversation is flowing equally. Make sure to ask questions about the other person.
Also, when making plans, there needs to be a balance in who does the planning. Both people in the relationship should take turns planning outings, having each other over for dinner/drinks, etc. When one side does all the plans, they can start to feel like the friendship is too much work.
Helping is an important part of a relationship. Be sure that you’re offering your friend to help them with a project or moving. Conversely, you need to be open to receiving help. Allowing friends to help with a house reno or a project will further cement your relationship.
Set up some activities that are new experiences for both of you. This could include axe throwing, hiking, going to the spa, etc. By trying new things together, you will build your relationship. Plus, after you’re done the activity, you can celebrate that you tried something new. If you failed at it, remember to laugh at your failures. You don’t need to be good at everything!!
Allow Them to Make Choices
Often people with low self-esteem will try not to make any decisions. If your friend has issues with this, start small. Maybe you ask your friend what time she wants to go out then increase the planning decisions over time. When they do make a decision, go with it unless it really doesn’t work for you.
Give hugs when appropriate. Giving hugs has been shown to increase oxytocin which decreases stress and anxiety and increases confidence and bonding. To give a good hug, hug the person tight and when you feel that the other person is letting go, then you let go.
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