A few months back, I began to set up a plan for my 8 year old to increase his understanding of the multiplication table. Knowing that his class was working on multiplication, I thought I’d help him get a jump on the material so that he could be successful and and as a result, feel accomplished. I created a chart that had some clearly defined goals and then inserted some rewards for accomplishing those milestones. When I introduced it to him, he was all for it. He began practicing right then and there in order to achieve his first reward, which was going out for ice cream. Fast forward two months, and the chart hasn’t been touched since that first day.
Now, I realize that the easy thing to do would be to blame myself for not enforcing a strict routine or plan for him to follow or to blame him for not following through. In reality though, I should really be blaming that chart that I made. That’s not to say that the idea behind the chart was wrong as extrinsic motivation is still a proven method to drive people to succeed, but the main problem with the chart was that it was born from my goals and not his. I didn’t consult with him about the milestones of the multiplication table or even the rewards, and so to think that he would be motivated to achieve it seems a little silly now.
This realization got me to shift my thinking from setting particular goals for my kids to being a part of the goal setting process with them. Through talking with other parents and reflecting on the teaching practices that have been successful in my classroom, I have put together a plan of sorts that hopefully will help us move from telling kids what they need to achieve and focus more on how to get them to develop realistic plans and value the accomplishments that they do achieve. After all, if we want our kids to be independent and critical thinkers, sometimes we have to get out of our way and allow for that to happen.
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